You got to lose to know how to win

Saturday, September 29, 2012

Truth Or Dare

Today happened to be Bryan birthday so we kind of help him 'celebrate' but forgot to buy cake for him.. all we were thinking was beer and where to drink. We went to Yishun Safra but it was full, wanted to head to Orchid Country Club but it was close to midnight and the pub open till 1am so we decided to try our luck at Sembanwang Road and managed to find a place to drink and sing, it was in a private room, room was quite fine though abit torn down but at least there is a place to drink! but they close at 1am. So we ordered a tower and start singing like crazy but.. the place blackout twice... total darkness... Soon, 1am came and we had to leave and we wanted more drinks so we brain storm and try our luck at coffeeshop to sell us beers as there is a law that is not allowed to sell alcoholic drink after midnight... lucky, it was our lucky day and managed to bought 5bottles and now left with a location to drink... since we were near my house and I was driving, I offer my palace as the place to drink. First time i bring guests to my palace to have fun even though my brother is sleeping soundly in the room! HAHAHA..
So we had poker cards and dices ready and end up playing card games and slowly became truth or dare...

Scary game. Been long since played this drinking game but this time round, the bets were higher and the dare were absurd man.. Seriously... 6 hours before Mum and Dad arrive from Beijing to Singapore so decide to let the hair down and enjoy the final 6 hours of freedom. HAHA.. Literally freedom.. Everyone had the laughter, had the drinks and had fun, so it was a great night. Can't be express in words, but whoever were there, bet you all had a good time.

Jon

Tuesday, September 25, 2012

Remorseful
When this date come every month, the guilt kicks in.

"Why must you waste your time thinking of something that you want to have but has no choice.
The way that she is now, don't sacrifice your time thinking of what's gone."

Maybe they were all right on spot.. Why Am I doing this to myself?
I should be the one enjoying my life now and don't bother about it. Yes, that what's it will be. Moving on down the journey again!

Thank You to those people who were there to listen to my story and also giving your thoughts. You are all appreciated!

Jon

Monday, September 24, 2012

Would my past be bothered?

they say it aint worth it thinking and getting bother by it since it ain't given a shit about it.
Anyone who heard about it will be fucking shocked and thinking its absurd to go to that extent.
But well,
she will leave my heart.

Jon

Thursday, September 20, 2012

It's like a crash Lamborghini

Is like having to own a Lamborghini and you feel so proud of driving it, having it, driving around town for people to be 'jealous' and 'admire', however, it loses control and crash it badly that it couldn't be driven again. It has to be scrapped, you have to get a new Lamborghini instead.

Jon

Wednesday, September 19, 2012

16years

that's the last time my parents went on a far away holiday.
The last time was Australia for 2weeks with one big family,
now is just two of them and godparents with other relatives and the number made up 8.

Mummy being worrying and has been reminding me since this afternoon to do this and do that, a worrisome mummy. Mummy, Don't worry, nothing will go wrong, I'll take care of the house and johnny. I won't do crazy things, I grown up, this time, even more mature after so much happening.
Mummy and Daddy is already at the airport checking in and waiting for their flight now.
The next 10 days will be a challenge once again imposed to me, looking after the house and my brother and also running errand and work. Packed!

Enjoy your trip, parents,
Don't worry! everything will be good!

Jon

Tuesday, September 18, 2012

Hatred

but at least it was a cleared mind now.

Hurtful and harsh words were told
From being used to being a substitute to being called a gigolo/ social escort, it hurt real bad but maybe I guess.... I'm the 'third party'.... *shake head
However I finally understand where I stand and what's the complete truth. I'm glad that the real reason was finally told.I do understand where it coming from and maybe all this while the fault was on me. Sometimes I know the problem was all along there and thinking I could change it hence this is the consequence when it the change doesn't goes the way i want it to be.
Furthermore, to also cause such 'unexpected accident' and 'suffering' you needed to go through, you had the rights to hate me and I understand the change attitude towards me.
Wish nothing but the best to you.
Cheers!

Jon

Monday, September 17, 2012

What Have You Learnt?

I will never forget when this was asked.
What have I learnt? Was this a game or something?
You really left me scratching my head....
What you said initially was opposite than reality...
Why me?
Time ain't healing it, Time is killing it.
it's just so difficult, every night I head to bed, the moment I close my eyes, you appear and it's a struggle.

也许时间是一种解药, 也是我现在正服下的毒药

Jon

Friday, September 14, 2012

Guilty

It's 2am and I cannot go to sleep. Doctor pills ain't helping at all, I need heavier ones.

Suddenly, the guilt comes back to haunt me.
It been awhile already and yet, the stone is still inside my head and heart.
Trying very hard to get rid of it, I guess it has been cemented inside and will be there always.
This will be the thing that will reflect my doing in future.
Sometimes to avoid certain things, we do another thing to forget about it, sometimes it works sometimes it doesn't.
Till today, I still yet cannot come to term with your reasoning and explanation. The real truth, no more lies to hide another lies to hide the truth. All I want is just honesty. There is no point hiding or running away, it doesn't solve the matter. You just merely putting everything down and just go away, you're being afraid to called a loser or coward, but all this doesn't matter to me.
There is a big question mark in myself and I would never get to know the answer unless it is solved by you.

Jon

Wednesday, September 12, 2012

A Mum can be great, so can be a Dad

was watching a video today, how a 50year old father joins a talent show and sing for his kids to hear... touching... Mom love can be great so can a dad love be.

Jon

Tuesday, September 11, 2012

Recharging Battery

Last night was coughing so badly that didn't managed to fall into deep sleep until 6am..
Should have ate the 'sleeping pill' before i head to bed...
Been having on and off fever since last Thursday but didn't went to the doc as was quite busy with work..
However on Sunday night, the condition got worse until I couldn't sleep and the throat was swell badly so had to visit a doctor to get antibiotics.
The doctor was quite hilarious, he asked me whether I want medicine which can cause me to be sleepy and I said, 'Yes, as much as possible, I'm having problem sleeping.' And he went, 'Oh dear! having problem sleeping?' and my mum just stared at me.. HAHA..
But, I'm on the road to recovery, still having abit of blocked nose and cough but the fever has subsided. hopefully doesn't comes back again!

Jon

Monday, September 10, 2012

Willingness can be taken for granted

Sometimes we can only put the blame on ourself.
All I can say, I can only put the blame on me.
I knew there was a problem and just keep brushing it off all the times... keep thinking it just a one off thing and will not happen again and yet, sometimes, brushing it off and not taking it serious can also be another problem.

Jon

Sunday, September 09, 2012

Rehabilitation Week 01

Been a week since I stop, looking good, doesn't have the tempt to go into it and click click. That's a good start. Hopefully it can at least last for a few months, just a trial to see if it possible. A good start is a good sign. Alright, still recovering from that sudden fever since Thursday. Fever has subsided, left with runny nose and a bad infected throat. Must been the haze and carbon monoxide from work and the recent lack of sleep which cause the body to break down. but well, after 'charging back' the battery, should be fine.
Nothing much has been going on besides staying at home and going to work. That's my life. HAHA.

Jon

Thursday, September 06, 2012

You never learn how to save

That's was what mummy told me.
Yeah, sometimes I agree with mummy. I always think I have enough money and just keep spending without thinking. Always planning beforehand, like if I had to spend $200 today and my next pay day I will get $350, I would just spend the $200 thinking that the $350 will cover up.
So now I know why, even though I'm taking in as much as close to 4digits monthly(if I work hard), I ain't have any saving because my concept has been always like this since I started working.
If I had come to learn of this long before anything happened, I can easily shake leg and stop working now. HAHA...
It's time for inception to take place, got to change to concept of saving/ earning money.

Jon

Monday, September 03, 2012

Rehabilitation

Rehabilitation starts for me today, starting from today.
Finger been burned the past 2 weeks, on a crazy spree, losing as much as 4digits...
It's like going out to the sea to fish, and after fishing, throw everything back into the ocean even after going through so much..
I guess that's the limit already, no more thinking about how to recoup back, just take it as a lesson learnt. The third time it's happening... Finger burnt!

Month of September kicks off, Second brother going to Japan on 5th for Navy training... for 47days, parents going overseas soon.. shld have join them.... but it was too impromptu so guess stuck in the island for now.

well, been suffering from sleeping disorder, heading to bed at 11pm and flipping until 4am before heading to sleep. And in the course of sleep, having to wake up hourly...
maybe there is too much things in the minds, thinking too much. Maybe it time to seek medical help before it gets worse. HAHA. Anyone has sleeping pills?

Jon