You got to lose to know how to win

Tuesday, January 31, 2012

dreiundzwanzig

today went back to school for nothing in the morning. thought it was revision lecture and then i was late by 30 min and when i arrived, the class ended.... revision lecture is on 9feb.. damn!

thn went to koufu, friends went to eat and then look for a empty lab to complete the project for submission today. everyone is like rushing out and trying to troubleshoot all last minute problem and documentation... and lucky we managed to get it done and finally, all downs to the presentation on 8feb.
everyone had the relief look on their face. (Y)
but my head is so pain like the brain is been compressed and crammed...........

after submission went back home straight and while waiting for dinner, watched the show Real Steel.
she haven't sms me since 12pm, her phone low battery.. sian...
back to the show, the show was quite nice and touching, love the part when the father asked the son: What do you want from me?
son : All i want is you to fight for me

then dinner served at 7.30pm, steamed fish, vegetable and lao huang gua soup. addition member on the dinner table, bro girlfriend. Bro going Tekong in two days time for 2 weeks. time flies... HAHA. good luck bro!

butwearethelovers

Jon

Monday, January 30, 2012

第二十二天

Today, went to starbucks to finish up the project.
left with only like less than 24hours to submission man! panic button!
hopefully, everything can b done.
Tried the GOLD today, damn heavy man.... cannot take too much.

okay, how's life ?
hmmm.. investment quite quiet, didn't went to bother much about it.
school is coming to an end.
life ain't going good very smooth.

Life goes on as it never ends
Eyes of stone observe the trends
They never say forever gaze
Guilty roads to an endless love
There's no control
Are you with me now
Your every wish will be done
They tell me.

whereisshe?

whereisthisbeautifulgirl?

Jon

Sunday, January 29, 2012

Like I lost something important

this morning, I woke up from bed after 3 hours of sleep.
my body is feeling so hot and my eyes are burning, trying hard to keep it open.

I had this feeling, like my life have been restarted, it's a brand new start. and also another feeling like I just lose something very important to me in my life,
something that is very precious and without it, my life will have changes and then it not the same as before.
last night, it was a nightmare... i was trying so hard to control the tears back and fighting against myself. I know giving up will ease the pain, but after a long battle, I don't want to give up now, it doesn't make any sense.
If you say you're not committing because of no reason, then I'm willingly to wait and fight...
but if you're saying your heart is occupied by a person already, then I will willingly wish you the best and walk away without a fight.

Liebhaber

Jon

Saturday, January 28, 2012

ice skating

went to kallang leisure park to skate, and both my ankle has a big big blister! ahhh.. skin so pain!

Jon

Friday, January 27, 2012

I could stay lost in this moment forever

last night was hell, bad headache yet I can't sleep. damn. think my body will sooner or later collaspe. tired, so tired.

All I wish is you to be true to yourself and tell me what you want.

I don't wanna see you trying so hard girl.

If I can't be the other half, just let me know. I know I'm out of the league of yours but do let me know, truth hurts but lies worse.

thefirsttears

give me a name.

Jon

Thursday, January 26, 2012

18th

maybe is me, maybe i'm the one. i'm the one in between them and not the other way round.
the problem wasn't her, it was me.
distance is apart of love. yes, apart, forgot the space in between.

quietfor14hrs.

Jon

Wednesday, January 25, 2012

Day 17

went back to school for an hour of marketing essential, next week got final test.
after the class, Mr Jerry share with me something, so he needed consultation so had to go for coffee. Mr Jerry, you're hanging. HAHA. and I'm the best person to talk to. will charge to your account at the end of the month. HAHA.

surprised to hear such thing coming from him but dude, I didn't know that you was once a replacement man! HAHA.. surprised, really surprised. somemore that origin is someone we know. hahaha. thanks for sharing ah.
but seriously, you got to ask yourself whether you want it or not la cause I'm in no position to make decision for you, all I can do is to offer you some suggestion and you know, whenever you decide, I'll respect it and not say whether isn't right or wrong. you always got it cover la! no problem.

So it's a lazy wednesday, going to dinner later at mama place. steamboat and hotplate for sure! eat and eat! like a shiok! (Y)

Jon

Tuesday, January 24, 2012

恭喜发财

happy lunar new year everyone

wish everyone good health and wealth, prosper in business and get good result for studies.

初一初二Day 15&16..

this chinese new year is much of last year. same place visiting, same people, same places. only differences? lesser of gambling & drinking.
surprisingly. more of just sitting there stoning and eating.. maybe eating was more of this year.
then visiting, all the older people are asking the same questions...
your son got girlfriend not?
jonathan got park toh not?
how come didn't bring girlfriend?
how come didn't go out?
I have to avoid the conversation and dodge the gossip groups.
brother brought girlfriend for the first time and then I had to face the conference.......
but really, this Chinese New Year, I'm just eating and eating... old already ah..
then my uncle share with me, he didn't work for the past 30years, and he didn't had the least paper qualification. now did he did it? he studied gambling. HAHA. he studied how people gamble, the way people gamble and through there, he somehow 'cheat' his way.
So he show me how to do and it was simple, he only told me this :
" know what you are doing and observe other, make others be afraid of you, make them scare to gamble with you, then you're on top " and i think it really work.
time to use this line the next time i gamble with those people. HAHA.

Back to reality....
back to doing program tmr, hopefully I can squeeze the time and get the mood.
heading back to school for an hour lecture, marketing essential.
New Year over already, nothing to look forward to, life goes on.

trying to make a saturday for friends to come over to gamble and have a little bite.

sometimesidon'tevenknowwhereIamstill

Jon

Sunday, January 22, 2012

初喜14th day

reunion dinner.

Jon

Friday, January 20, 2012

End of FRIEDay
Day12

Had like only 4hours of sleep and getting out of bed to study but I end up waking up to eat prata and head back to sleep. So didn't really study!
at the least, the tests didn't really fried me I think. Managable but not going to get scoring marks. but you know, I don't expect too much.
everyone face and the atmosphere was so down in class today, everyone feeling the stone but when 5pm arrived, the stone was lifted and everyone was smiling.. HAHA. GOOD! time to celebrate Chinese New Year and welcome the new year!
So it's friday, so it's enough of school, I got a 龙(long) weekend man!

Finally the week ended,
mentallyphysically exhausted. everyday drained and even my friends are saying im growing skinner and skinner. damn! that's not good. time to buff up otherwise I'll b skeleton!
Everyone busy with their own lives.

Distance is a part of love.

willimakeit

isn't wrong of me to feel this way

Jon

Thursday, January 19, 2012

Friday FRIEDay!
Day11

will the fisherman stop trying before the fish decides?

Tmr is friday, and I declared it as FRIEDay cause it frying my brain. two test and assessment. tmr all together. Programming and Software Engineering...

then come the project based assessment, luckily is almost done for this. left some add on and all.

Once tmr is over, most of the module is almost done.

left w two written exams at the end of feb.

Went for my haircut just now, supposed to go to the saloon to cut but crowded so had to stick to my barber downstair. my hair looks like Tintin. HAHA.

Chinese New Year coming, mum say need to get one more top for Day number1!(:

Saturday shopping!

sometimesiwishweareondifferentroles.

Jon

Wednesday, January 18, 2012

People come and go
day10
one more chance?
you promise me.

People come and go in your life, some came, some left, some are here to stay, some are not.

Life is always full of obstacles,
some choose to overcome it,
some choose to leave it there as long as it doesn't affect them,
some choose to solve it when problems arrived.

Had a another bad dream last night, almost same the previous one. damn.
maybe we trying, trying to hard, maybe we torn apart. Its' empty.

~~going for haircut later.~~

ittakestwotobelieve

Jon

Tuesday, January 17, 2012

How come cannot work leh??
Day9

damn, stuck at my program and I'm lazy of having to troubleshoot and google for the solution, worse come to worse, I shall hardcode it! DAMN! I have till friday to show my program.
Half week of school ending and I'm so tired already, don't want to do work, just relax.
Tmr skipping/no lesson so going to have a haircut and maybe join the dudes in town. If I go, first time go town with my poly friends. HAHA.

ain't putting too much hopes Idontwannafalltoohard

Jon

Sunday, January 15, 2012

Ended 2 days Work.
day7

Working at Causeway Point this weekend. it was super tiring though not much people taking cab.
started work at 7am on 14Jan and seriously that's minor hangover wasn't helping much.....
New working shift for this year after signing the new contract with LTA.

morning shift: 7am-10am
evening shift: 5pm-12am

however, as Causeway Point is undergoing renovation and think they are behind schedule, they had to close the taxi stand at around 11pm to allow construction work to be carried out so to say in short, both days i work till 11.15 and 10.30 resepectively. like a shiok ah! and still get paid till 12midnight. HAHA.

New week, New beginning again. Damn!
What to look forward this week? for school(BOO!)
Second Assessment on SACP on Tuesday/Friday
RAD test on Friday
Software Engineering test on Friday
Damn all the tests. but I need at least a B to pull the grades up so... I will have to study! DAMN!

What to look forward this week? outside school(YAY!)
Reunion Dinner!(:

Damn, really need some financial management. Can't believe I just threw $100 into the sea. HAHA. damn! Pay coming in tmr and then chinese new year!! angbaos comes in. I seriously spend money without thinking sometimes and that weakness has caused me to lose thousand of dollars. HAHA.......
Less than a month to change my phone! Hopefully, the BB price drop till $200 by then when I want to change. HAHA. Then phone bill won't be too harsh on me! unless I'm sticking to the 300minute outgoing calls.

Jon

Friday, January 13, 2012

5th day
had Mac Prosperity meal! quite nice but the burger is spicy! my first time eating Mac Chinese New Year meal. HAHA. mountain tortoise.
After dinner, wanted to sit down and talk but you sure no interest
Sorry about the attitude that night, was abit very very frustrated and tired
at the end, we found a place to sit and talk 'properly' but after talking for so long, we didn't managed to really get it solved.
I really hope it can really be done soon..... hanging for too long ain't nice... ending it doesn't solved it too.

I'm not tired of chasing you, but I'm tired of you not being true to yourself

Jon

Thursday, January 12, 2012

Day 4
my boss ask me not to call her boss. she angrybird la!

Today is thursday, started the day early and was feeling so cold in the morning..... freezing so left the house in black hood jacket with many smiley faces on it(:
went to meet the dudes at Yishun mrt and trained to school. morning train are always packed!

First lesson, most of them slacking and teacher say the module not done well, 15% of the cohort failed and more is to come. I expect I'm one of them though.
Then my marketing essential report got a A! (: what you're, you achieve there.
then my digital interface get F! but don't need to press panic button yet, cause i think the cohort also somewhere there and moderation will do it all! *wink! Class ended at 6pm and went back home to have dinner.

Today mummy birthday, HAPPY BIRTHDAY MUM! w LOVES<3

So had dinner downstair, zi char. HAHA. Without my second brother who was working at AMK hub.
then after dinner, went to Aloy grandfather funeral. sat there for an hour before going home.

Timecheck: 11.48pm and I'm on the line with you. meeting tmr already still want to talk on the phone, sticky !
Less than 24hour before the meeting. nervous? excited? looking forward?
to be honest, I also don't know what should be the feeling but all I know tmr everything will b told, hopefully. i think.

at this point of time, is wiser to mention names as two names are involved.

Jon

Wednesday, January 11, 2012

Day 3shld i dread friday to come or look forward?

today, skip two lectures and stayed at home to finish up the project that need to be assessed this coming friday. but I'm sure I'll end up getting stuck so I need help tmr pino brothers(:
My saviour!
School is feeling like shit, Let's get it over together and then it will be a long long break of course, there is exam to look forward to! HAHA. but we can make it through right? we always do! HAHA.

In the evening going to Mosque Square to eat korean food to celebrate Mama birthday!<3
HAPPY BIRTHDAY MAMA! thanks for everything you did for me and your love towards me!

Just received news of close friend Aloy grandfather passing on, my condolence to you and family. Will drop by tmr to pay my last respect.

tmr Mum birthday, but got no time to have celebration, I have class the whole day! damn! idiot school, shld have some kind of 'family time MC'. Spend more time w the family mah.

Today, watched a tv program on other countries and Holland seem a nice place for me.
the schools there are not result orientated and the best part, they put family as priority. Workers need to work a certain hours and then off they go on the dot and company their children or spouses. I like(Y) Life shld be this way.....

Yes people, I know I'm dumb stupid and all, but before we make any decision, just let that day to come before we make any finalize decision. You guys understand me that no matter what, I'll still go for it. Especially those people who know me well, even though I say that way, my heart think otherwise, I'm glad you people know me that well and that's also my weakness. My good is my weakness.

would i end up picking the pieces alone?

the feeling is just different. guess the feeling is a one time kind, When is there is there and when it gets break off, the feeling will not return that easily.

Jon

Tuesday, January 10, 2012

Day 2
today is day 2

Woke up at 11.45am after a long long sleep, body aching when I woke up but had to get out of bed and get ready for class. Met the dudes before heading to school together.
School was slow and boring, all the tests projects assignments...

sometimes, I feel like stabbing myself in the dark for not studying and getting my science done, otherwise I wld have gone to Sport related courses maybe in RP and I wouldn't have to go through all this shit.. guess I'm stuck with all this shits. half-fuck!

Class ended at 6pm. Then headed home.
feeling damn sick now, head heavy soon a headache will occur! thn I'll collapse.
then everything can b back to their way it shld be.

Day 2.
Trying not to enter social networking sites as much as I don't want to have those thoughts running through my mind.
As minutes passed, hours passed, days passed, the mind keeps running and running... got to occupy the mind..

As days passed, I slowly get used to it and I know what's the outcome roughly.

i'm ready to face the truth.

Glad I handled the situation well though I was near to break down but I was strong to hold on.

Jon

Monday, January 09, 2012

Day Onethis is day one.
went to school, presentation today and I haven't even seen the finalized slides.

unlucky ME!and morning, everyone is out of the house and when I was bathng, i realised that I had no keys! so with hair dripping and body still wet, I wrap myself with the towel and quickly dialled for my mum for help...

lucky, one of her friend who stayed at our blk who had our keys was still at home and about to head to work... if i was one step slower... i'm caged!

thn came when I was dressing, i saw a thread coming out from the top so I pulled it and the button came off... damn unlucky!
bad day to start uhs ? HAHA.

it's 3.19pm, heading to work at 4pm at Cairnhill!

this week is Mummy(s) birthday! a day after another!

happytohearyourvoicebutsadtohearyoureinpain

Jon

Sunday, January 08, 2012

All she knows

话总说不清楚
该怎么明了
一字一句像圈套

it's history but.... if it clinging on, then there is no point.

Sorry

I'm sorry that if I hurt you and make you sad in any ways after telling you those harsh words but I hope you understand it will be better for both of us to get it done clearly. it makes a better future.

if you're in the past then don't get me into the present, i ain't want a part of something that is in the past.

Jon

Friday, January 06, 2012

'Cause tonight I'm feeling like an astronaut, sending SOS from this tiny box

prevarication, barrier, conceptualize.
world behind the wall.
just another day... and I'll free myself from this misery.

Jon

Thursday, January 05, 2012

WALL between

That's all I feel after that day. the scattered pieces are not easy to pick up and put it back
There is a wall between the two of us and the wall looks not that easy to break down and everyday since after that day wasn't that good and the feeling is arduous.
The sourish feeling piercing into the heart and mind, what can i do?
The wall has to be taken down before anything can move from there* and as it goes on my world is just so desolated... *or someone has to leave
the greatest fighter sometimes also give up but I don't wanna to, I want to carry on fighting but I wanna fight for something, something that's is worth for a fight.

mentally broken down.

Jon

Wednesday, January 04, 2012

I don't want to waste another day
Keeping it inside, it's killing me
'Cause all I ever want
It comes right down to you, to you
I wish that I could find the words to say
would tell you every time you leave
I'm inconsolable.

timecheck: 2154hrs.

why why always me de uhs

Jon

Tuesday, January 03, 2012

话总说不清楚该怎么明了

Jon

3 January 2012

Concpetualize

Went back to school today, for 2hrs and couldn't enter the lab because the part time tutor has no access to the room because it was somehow 'locked' due to the Open House 2012 this year. So after getting help from a full time tutor, we managed to enter the lab and the tutor looked quite pissed off.
And after today onwards, no lesson till all the way to Monday! shiok! not involved in the Open House. So holiday for 3days!

Was surfing the net and saw until this, things to do on date.
Whilst playing hard to get looks suave and elegant, research says avoid it. Instead you should try to act available on a date(like not looking at the handphone or holding on to the phone).
Firstly, because it’s clear you both fancy each other, otherwise why would you have agreed to go on a date?
Secondly, playing hard to get doesn’t actually work. It is thought that we find people attractive when they are hard for everyone else to get, but love the fact that they are easy for us to have. Therefore on your date, try to say things like “I’ve been single for a while. It’s not that I haven’t had any offers, I just really liked you”.
Or if someone asks you to dance or offers to buy you a drink, politely say no and give all your attention to your date. Make them aware that you’re a catch, but remind them that they are the one who has caught you.

perplex

Jon

Sunday, January 01, 2012

Happy New Year

another 365 days passed and we welcome another new year. 2012.
What's your resolution ?
no resolution.
Do what you want to do. of course without making people feeling worried for you and blah blah. do the right thing. (:

What to expect this year ?
hmm.. European Cup 2012. shiok! African Nation Cup 2012, Shiok!
another month and I can change my handphone, looking at blackberry 9900. hopefully it wouldn't cost that much.
another 6 month and I'm ain't in probation list! like a shiok! (:

Jon